Seemed to me everything I’d see,
Would, somehow, remind me of mammaries,
I couldn’t prevent it no matter how much I’d try.

I’d sneak away to a quiet place––
My pulse would pound and my hormones would race––
And before too long I’d exhausted the poor guy.

Touched myself ‘til I went blind
I touched myself until I went blind.

I thought those stories were a bunch of lies,
I should have used my brain,
But no––I used my hand instead, unable to refrain.

I shave my palms more than I do my face,
Reverend Swaggart says that I
Can count on spending eternity way downtown when I die.

Touched myself ‘til I went blind,
I touched myself until I went blind...

Touched myself ‘til I went blind,
I touched myself until I went blind.
I touched myself ‘til I went blind,
Ooh, yeah...
I touched myself until I went blind.

Rubbin’ it slow,
Rubbin’ it slow now,
Rubbin’ it slow...