And I would do anything for lunch
But I didn’t have the time to pack
I would do anything for lunch
Or just five minutes for a snack

I slept through my lunch hour and the boss won’t let me eat
That jerk
So I would do anything for lunch
Or a little snack
Or a little snack

Some days my momma packs it
And some days she just cannot
Some days I buy it from the guy in the truck in the parking lot
And sometimes I feel like a Big Mac
Sometimes it’s pork-fried rice
Some days I say to myself, "A bucket o’ chicken
Would be real nice."

Health food’s not for me
Because it frankly tastes like poop
If you don’t believe me
Perhaps you’d like to try a scoop
And after a night out drinkin’,
Hungover and barely thinkin’,
Crap--I forgot to pack my food,
I’m such an asshole!

Man I would do anything for lunch!
Oh I would do anything for lunch!
I would do anything for lunch
Or a little snack
Or a little snack...

I would do anything for lunch
Something to nibble or to munch
Or just a little snack...
Let’s go to Denny’s for some brunch
A piece of toast on which to crunch
Oh, for a pancake stack!

I left my wallet home and
I guess it’s just as well
I don’t have pocket change
For something cheap at Taco Bell
Health food’s not for me
Because it frankly tastes like poop

If you don’t believe me
Perhaps you’d like to try a scoop
As long as my stomach is grumblin’
Forgetting my lunch is humblin’
I think there’s a Tic Tac in my drawer--
And I’m gonna eat it!

But I would do anything for lunch!
Before I have a Mac Attack
Yes, I would do anything for lunch
But I was too hungover to pack
I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a cheeseburger today,
With fries
And I would do anything for lunch
Something on which to nosh or munch
I would do anything for lunch
Or a little snack
Or a little snack!

Girl:
Will you eat low-fat
Keep your cholesterol down?
Can I pack a healthy lunch in a bag that is brown?
Will you make it to an age that is old?

Boy:
I’ll try to lose fat!
Yes, I can do that!

Girl:
If you eat like a pig you’ll give yourself a clot,
If you’re bent on dying young then let’s go out and choose a plot,
The folks we know all think, "My, how you’ve grown..."

Boy:
I know I’m gettin’ too fat!
Just like the Garfield cat!

Girl:
I know you’re hungry, baby--I hear the sound,
You’ll get a pizza to go and you’ll suck it right down,
Sooner or later you’ll be six feet around...